


Some Kind Of Madness

by StarkRogers



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Porn, Condoms, Dom/sub Undertones, Double Penetration, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Showers, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-05-31 02:23:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6451726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarkRogers/pseuds/StarkRogers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony's desperately in love with Steve, but believes he can't have him. Steve thinks he might love Tony, but he's just recently learned that Bucky is still alive and doesn't know what to do. Tony seeks resolution elsewhere in the meantime, but things just keep getting more and more complicated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. TONY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's on edge after a day of watching Steve fighting in that hot blue suit, and there's only one place to go to soothe that need.

Tony needs a fuck, and he needs it right now, at eleven-thirty at night. Staring at Steve Fucking Rogers’ ass all day long in that tight blue suit fucked him up. But Mr. Captain America was way out of Tony’s league; too perfect and all that. As far as Tony can tell anyway. Tony can only assume the man is as perfect as his military record. 

So Tony needs a fuck, because he’s dying slightly inside and as he hops on his motorcycle he already has a target in mind, already knows exactly where he’s going. There’s a spot down by Greenville Yard, off the tracks and isolated enough that no one important goes there. He dials the phone number that no one ever actually answers as he drives, the dial tone shimmering on a heads up display inside his bike helmet. It only rings four times before the person on the other end ends the call without connecting. Four was good; it meant he was there. 

Tony speeds through the Holland tunnel and down to the tracks, then pulls off onto a dirt road and through some trees into the shipyard. There he turns off the engine and walks the bike to an empty shipping container, and parks it inside. He puts a chain through the doors and locks it up, then continues through the shipyard, his thousand-dollar shoes crunching on dirt and rocks. He doesn’t bother with a flashlight, it would just attract attention. He knows he’ll be found by the right person soon enough. 

It happens just as he stuffs his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket, fingers getting cold in the chill of the night. It’s like being hit by a train; the pain of slamming into the freight container on his right is only slightly less painful than the man tackling him from the left. Rough hands turn him sideways and yank his hands behind his back in a vice-like grip Tony knows never lets go. He pants against the cold steel wall, adrenaline spiking. Fingers, warm and strong, knot in his hair and hold his head as leather presses against his back from his ankles to his shoulders. 

“You’re back again,” a voice growls against Tony’s ear, and Tony replies as the man is still speaking.

“Yes, yes, yes, I called! I need it!” 

“Not just about you,” the voice hisses, shoving Tony against the shipping container forcefully. Tony grunts and nods.

“Right, yeah, got it,” he says, writhing slightly against the weight of the man behind him. “I know you were watching today,” he adds, and the grip around his wrists tightens, forcing out a gasp of pain. “He didn’t see you! Swear it!” The grip tightens for a few more seconds until Tony fears his wrists are going to snap. “Ah! Please—!”

Things go red for a moment before the pressure eases, and Tony tries to catch his breath. 

“He better not,” the voice says hotly against Tony’s neck, and then the fingers in Tony’s hair slide down his shoulders and spine to his pants. What the man finds is that Tony’s pants are already unbuttoned and unzipped — and have been since he parked the bike.

“Didn’t want to waste our time,” Tony explains breathlessly as the man behind him scoffs. 

“You’re a piece of shit,” the man says. “Never known anyone so desperate.” Tony laughs weakly as the man’s hand slides into his underwear and roughly forces with his pants and boxers down his thighs. 

“Takes one to know one,” Tony replies, which earns him more punishment: the man grabs his hair again and slams his head into the shipping container. Tony groans and sees stars for a moment as the man lets go of his head. When Tony regains his senses it’s because the man is shoving his fingers inside him, wet and cold. “Guh!” Tony shudders as his hips twitch, pressing his cock against the cold steel of the container. “Aaah… please,” he moans, but the man doesn’t reply except to pant in Tony’s ear and work his fingers quickly inside him. It’s good, it’s so good and Tony’s body is so used to this by now that it doesn’t take long to get up to three fingers. 

“C-coat,” Tony pants, hearing the man unzip his pants behind him. “Condom’s in my pocket,” he says, his chest heaving in anticipation, his knees weak. The man laughs and shoves his hand into the pockets of Tony’s leather coat, looking for the small foil packet.

“You always remember,” the man says, and Tony gives a shaky laugh. They’d never even discussed it really, but the first time they’d done this Tony had pulled out a condom and the man hadn’t argued, not for a moment. 

“Can’t leave behind biological evidence,” Tony jokes. It’s their excuse. He can’t admit it’s to maintain the illusion for him: that they’re just strangers and have nothing to do with one another. He needs that separation, needs to keep that in his head because otherwise… he just thinks of Steve. He can hear the man laughing at him again, but he hears the snap of the condom, and when the man rubs his length against Tony’s thigh, he feels cool latex. He sighs, which quickly turns into a moan as the man presses against him, slowly pressing inside. 

“Fuck yes, oh fuck, fuck yes,” Tony pants. “Oh my god yes…” He’s filled, and it feels so good it takes his breath away, the feel of latex on skin, the thick length inside him, sliding so easily, rubbing right over his prostate, stretching his body… His head presses against the cold steel of the shipping container and then falls back against the man’s shoulder as he moans wantonly. 

The man pants behind him, his breath hot on Tony’s neck and chin. His hand wraps around Tony’s stomach and pulls his hips back as they fuck, holding him tight as Tony writhes. The man fucks him for what feels like ages, never giving Tony release, never focusing on making Tony reach climax. He just keeps at, his hips sometimes slow and sometimes fast until Tony feels raw and his knees start to buckle. Tony’s not sure if the man has come or not; his stamina is impossible. Tony moans, sagging against the man, held up only by his body and the wall he was pressed against. 

“God,” he says, his voice wrecked, sweat dripping down his nose despite the chill in the air. “God you gotta let me come,” he moans. “You gotta come, I need to come,” he babbles, his legs shaking, shoulders aching from being held behind his back for so long. 

“Get down on your knees,” the man behind him says, slipping out of him. Tony whimpers and balks.

“I ca— I can’t, the— the dirt, they’ll know, they’ll wonder,” he says, pressing his face against the container. The man yanks him away, and without support Tony’s legs give out on their own, and he sinks down to his knees in the wet dirt. The man lets Tony’s wrists go as he falls to the ground, and Tony presses his hands against the container. 

“You’ll be fine,” the man says, and suddenly his hand is on the collar of Tony’s jacket, yanking him backwards and throwing him on his back in the mud unceremoniously. Tony groans, his arms half-numb, his mind fogged by need but the next moment he’s being filled again, the man hovering above him on one rock-solid arm, the other hand working its way up under Tony’s coat and shirt.

Tony swears and locks his legs around the man’s hips, thrusting up against him and desperately trying to find relief. He reaches down to take his cock in hand, but the man yanks his hand away and pins it down on the ground as Tony shouts in desperation.

“Fuck! Oh god fuck you, please fucking let me - fuck I need to come please!” Tony yells, writhing beneath the man, trying to grind his cock against the man’s stomach, dripping precum onto his own stomach and coat. The man’s thrusts become harder and faster and suddenly Tony’s moaning in pleasure, heat washing over him as a tingling tightness spreads from his cock outward. “Ah! Ah! So close - please don’t stop please,” Tony begs, begs with tears in his eyes, his entire body shaking with the effort of trying to achieve climax. 

With a strangled cry Tony finally comes, throwing his head back as his body arches like a strung bow, tight and hard as his cock pumps his release, showering cum all over his coat. The man pulls out of him as he’s still shuddering, his cock still pulsing. An impossibly hard fist knots into the front of his coat and hauls him up.

“Suck me off,” the man says, panting for breath and still hard. The condom wasn’t filled with cum — how could this man still not have come, Tony thinks, but he doesn’t have much brainpower to think with. The man rolls the condom off and drops it into the dirt. Tony fumbles in his pockets for another one, but he’d only brought one… 

“You know I’m clean,” the man says, and it’s too familiar for a moment, too close to being “friends” for Tony’s liking, so instead of saying anything he just fills his mouth with the man’s length and lets the musty smell and salty flavor tinged with latex and powder carry him away. The man puts a warm hand on the back of Tony’s head and that helps too; the fingers knot into his hair as he sucks the man down. He’s on his knees in the dirt now, nearly laying face-down in it, his hands beside the man’s legs as he kneels and leans back. 

The man’s hips tick upwards as Tony works him, taking him deeper and deeper until his throat opens and the man thrusts into him with a low growling moan. The man holds Tony’s head tight and close; and it seems even his stamina finally has a breaking point. The man pants, his voice softer as he shakes, getting closer to coming with Tony’s mouth around his length. 

“Gnn… nn…” The man comes almost silently, thrusting up into Tony’s throat and holding him there with a hand tight against the back of his head. Tony swallows, tries to breathe through the sticky release and coughs, swallowing more until his throat is clear and the man lets go. 

Tony shivers for a moment, still laying on the ground, his sweat chilling him in the cold air. The man carefully pushes Tony away and stands up first, offering a hand to help Tony up as well. Tony takes it, and then turns away, stuffing himself back into his boxers, pulling his pants back up and buttoning them. His wrists are starting to ache now, and even in the dim moonlight he can see red marks that will soon be bruises. He’s mostly caught his breath now. He’s cold and wants to get back home, but he can feel the man’s eyes burning into the back of his head.

“He really didn’t see me?” the man asks. Tony shivers and crosses his arms over his chest. He doesn’t want to talk about Steve, but this was the agreed-upon payment, after all. 

“Yeah,” Tony says. “He was a block away when I saw you. Too busy chasing those Hydra agents down.” Tony rubs his wrists. 

“How is he?” the man asks, his voice soft.

“He’s good,” Tony replies, reaching up and trying to fix his hair, but it’s full of dirt. Hopefully everyone will be in bed and he can make it to his bedroom without running into anyone. “Nat’s still trying to get him with the blonde from secure intelligence.” The man laughs.

“Blonde isn’t his type.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Tony says, his throat tight. He needs a drink, maybe two. And a shower; then he can pass out and hopefully dream about nothing. “He’s still trying to find—” 

Suddenly there’s a hand wrapping around his upper arm, tight, almost crushing it. Tony inhales sharply, wincing.

“Don’t. Tell him.” The threat is like ice in the man’s voice.

“I won’t,” Tony swears quickly, pain spreading down his arm to his fingers. The hand lets go, and Tony steps a few feet away quickly. “Are we good?” he asks, still not turning around. He doesn’t hear a reply, and after a few seconds he looks over his shoulder. The man is gone. 

Tony doesn’t know how the guy moves so quietly. He swallows, and his throat hurts. Dirt crunches under his feet as he makes his way back to where he hid his bike. He rolls it out of the shipping container and hops on with a wince. He drives home, the pain coursing like a drug through his veins, keeping him low and calm. He parks haphazardly in the basement garage and limps to the elevator. JARVIS pings at him as he leans heavily against the wall, the lights blinking upwards to the penthouse. 

“Sir…” Tony hates that he can hear the concern in JARVIS’ voice.

“Not a word,” he rasps, his throat feeling worse. “Hot shower,” he orders, pulling himself out of the elevator and heading towards his room.

“Yes sir,” JARVIS replies. “I will also get tea with honey and lemon brewing,” the program adds after a moment. 

“Put some whiskey in there and we’re talking,” Tony says. He shivers down the hall, and doesn’t notice anyone or anything at all as he slips into his bedroom. He can hear the shower running, and strips off his dirty clothes as he walks across the room. He steps into the hot cascade and his shivers cease almost instantly. He stinks down to the floor as muddy water sluices off of him, swirling down the drain. Curled up, he falls asleep for a few minutes. JARVIS carefully adjusts the angle of the shower head so the water isn’t spraying on sir’s face, and when the tea is done he rings a gentle alarm to wake him up.

“Sir, it is not wise to sleep in the shower.”

Tony wakes with a ragged breath, blinking heavily through the steam. He stands up and now everything is sore, every muscle overused and aching. He can barely keep himself on his feet, but he manages to rinse off the rest of the dirt and wash his hair. The marks on his wrists are getting darker, he notes. He wonders if there are any others. He dries off and trudges into the bedroom. Dum-E is there with a tray and one cup of tea, just cool enough to drink. Tony downs it, and then pulls a glass bottle out from under his bed. He takes a good swig from that, sets it back down on the floor, and then lays back on top of the covers. He closes his eyes and falls asleep, exhausted.

Outside, Steve watches Dum-E leave Tony’s room, and frowns, his face pinched with concern. This isn’t the first time he’s seen Tony come stumbling back in the middle of the night after a fight, and it’s getting him worried. He’s asked JARVIS about it before, but Tony had forbidden the AI to say anything about it. Steve wanders back to his own room, his thoughts racing. As he falls asleep, he makes a decision to confront Tony about it tomorrow.


	2. STEVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve heads out to figure out what the hell Tony's been doing to himself.

The next morning, Steve is up early as usual. He’s sitting in the kitchen sipping coffee when Tony slinks in, looking like death warmed over. He’s dressed and clean in a long-sleeved button up shirt and black slacks, but there’s a scrape on his cheek overlaying a small bruise, and Steve thinks he sees another on his eyebrow. He inhales sharply but doesn’t say anything at first. Tony waves without looking at him, and pokes his head into the fridge.

“Mornin’ Cap.”

Steve doesn’t answer, because his eyes are locked on the livid purple bruises around Tony’s wrists, revealed when the man reaches for the milk carton. Tony straightens up and looks at Steve, his eyes sliding away quickly as he sets the milk down.

“What’s with you?”

“Tony,” Steve says with concern, and he sees something change in Tony’s demeanor: he tightens up.

“What?” Tony says way too casually. He drags his gaze back up to Steve, and there’s a shadow of a cocky grin there.

“You’ve covered in bruises,” Steve says as neutrally as he can. Tony raises his eyebrows like this is news.

“We were in a fight yesterday, in case you forgot. I don’t have healing powers,” Tony says, brushing it all aside with a hand. He turns to the cupboard and pulls out a box of cereal and a bowl.

“If you were hurt you should’ve told me and gone to medical,” Steve says, his voice barely controlled. He knows damn well Tony wasn’t hurt during the fight, he’s not an idiot! 

“It just a couple of bumps,” Tony says sharply, and Steven can hear him becoming defensive. “A little ice and some aspirin and I’ll be fine.” He pours his cereal, his face a steely mask. Steve loses his patience.

“It’s not just a couple of bumps Tony!”

“It’s none of your business!” Tony snaps, slamming down the carton of milk. He stares at Steve, his jaw tight. Steve glares back, angry that Tony is dodging this, hiding whatever it is he’s hiding. 

“You’re part of a team, you can’t be reckless!”

Tony raises his finger, pointing it right at Steve, inches away from actually jabbing him in the chest.

“Stay the fuck out of my business, Rogers.” Then he whirls and stomps out of the kitchen, leaving his cereal behind, getting soggy. 

Steve sighs; this had not gone the way he’d wanted it to go. He dumps the cereal down the sink and washes the dishes as he thinks about what to do. He wanders down to the control room and stares at the blank computer screens. 

“JARVIS?”

“Yes sir?” JARVIS says, his voice polite.

“Tony’s hurt again,” Steve says quietly. “I know you know what’s going on.” There’s a long pause as JARVIS compiles a reply. 

“I have been ordered by Mr. Stark not to say a word of it,” JARVIS says carefully. “But I do not in fact know exactly what he is doing.” Steve raises his head, surprised.

“He hasn’t even told you?”

“No, he has not,” JARVIS says, and even Steve can sense a tone of worry in JARVIS’ voice. Steve suddenly realises he might have a chance at figuring all this out.

“You can’t speak a word about it,” Steve repeats. “But can you show me security footage from last night, after we all got back to the tower?”

“Why yes I can,” JARVIS says neatly, and in the fraction of a moment the screens turn on, and there’s Tony in the basement parking lot, climbing onto his motorcycle and speeding away. Then, a shot a few hours later of Tony returning, parking, and stumbling into the elevator.

“Are there tracers in that motorcycle?”

“I am afraid not, sir. However, I can compare the fuel load before and after his trip and extrapolate a radius of locations he may have driven to. I… believe his instructions to me prevent me from guessing anything more specific than that.”

“It’s okay, do what you can,” Steve says, but he can see the numbers already scrolling over the screen, the map popping up and expanding as potential destinations add up. Steve stares at the map for a while, but the possibilities are still too numerous. “I’m going to go look at his bike,” he says, standing up. He takes the elevator down to the basement, and there’s Tony’s bike, still parked sideways near the elevator. Steve looks it over carefully, trying to find some clue on it that would point him to where Tony might’ve gone. Inside one of the saddle bags he finds a chain and a lock. The only other thing he finds is that there’s an awful lot of gravel stuck in the tires, more than you’d get riding on the streets of New York. He puts the chain and lock back, and heads up to the control room again.

“JARVIS. Can you narrow down the locations to only those that have dirt or gravel?”

“I can do that, sir,” JARVIS says. Almost all of the dots disappear, and Steve zooms in on a specific spot, by the river. 

“Here,” he says. Even on the satellite image, the color of the soil looks the same as what he saw on the tires of Tony’s motorcycle. “I’m going out there,” Steve says firmly. He heads back down to the basement, and takes his own car out. 

It’s mid-day by the time he gets to the dirt road he’d seen on the map. He pulls over, and looks for tracks. They’re not hard to see, and they lead right through the trees to the shipyard, as he’d suspected. He follows the path until it opens back up. It’s clear this part of the shipyard is abandoned; even during the day there’s no one here. The tire tracks lead to a shipping container, and there’s dirt on the floor inside. Now the chain makes sense; Tony must’ve locked his bike in here. But why? Steve is starting to feel a little sick to his stomach.

From the storage container there’s a set of footprints leading deeper into the shipyard, and Steve follows them. Where they end… He’s not a detective but he’s learned basic tracking techniques (so helpful in Germany) and he can tell… something happened here. A struggle of some kind; the dirt was scraped all over the place in a mess of footprints and drag marks. And there’s something else here, too. A condom. The hot worry Steve had been holding back washes over him for a moment. 

“Oh Tony…”

Steve stands in the spot, and wonders how much of it had been consensual. Tony had driven out here, after all. And walked to this spot by himself, from what Steve can see. But after that? Has this happened every time Steve has seen Tony come stumbling home? Steve runs his hand through his hair, hopelessly out ideas. And furthermore, why? Why was Tony doing this? 

Standing here isn’t giving him any answers, so he turns and leaves, numbly getting back in his car and driving back to the tower. He immediately heads back to the control room, and tells JARVIS everything he saw. Then he stands back up before JARVIS can say anything. Something hot and angry is boiling inside him.

“I’m going to the gym,” he says. “I need… I need to just burn some of this energy off.”

“Of course sir,” JARVIS says. Steve gets to the gym and quickly begins beating the ever-loving shit out of a punching bag, the anger and frustration hiding something deeper: fear. Fear for Tony, that he’s going to get hurt for real, that he’s already hurt for real. Every punch he throws is a lame attempt to beat the living hell out of whoever is doing this to Tony. He cares about Tony; cares about him more than he’s cared about anyone since waking up from the ice. 

It’s no secret Tony swings both ways, and even if it had been a secret, Natasha had seen the way Steve watched Tony leave a room and teased him about it for a week. He’d begged her not to say anything, and so instead she threatens to hook him up with every single girl she finds as revenge for keeping his secret. And he’d been close to asking him out, or at least broaching the subject… and then he’d found out Bucky was still alive, and everything became so complicated...

Steve punches the bag so hard it breaks the chain and shoots several feet across the room before falling to the floor. He pants and walks over to it when there’s a whistle from behind. He spins, and finds Natasha standing there, leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed, chewing a piece of gum.

“Wow,” she says, snapping the gum. “What was that about? Wait, let me guess: Tony.” Steve’s silence is enough of an answer. She sighs softly. “I saw him too. It’s bad this time. JARVIS won’t tell me what he’s doing.”

“Won’t tell me either,” Steve says, walking over to her as he unwinds the wraps around his hands. She looks up at him and sighs.

“What’re we gonna do with him?”

“I don’t know,” Steve says. “I don’t know what to do. What if we find Bucky? It wouldn’t be fair-”

“You don’t know if he’s going to remember anything,” Natasha cuts in. “Brainwashing is… messy. Trust me,” she says as Steve looks at her sympathetically. “But Tony’s right here, right now. Whatever he’s beating himself up over, he needs your help here and now.” Steve sighs, and shakes his head after a moment.

“I can’t,” he says, and pushes past her. She turns and watches him go, shaking her head.

“Idiot,” she says in frustration.


	3. NATASHA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nat's just about lost patience with these two idiots. This is a short chapter, sorry!

Things quiet down for a few weeks. Hydra doesn’t turn up, and the bruises fade from Tony’s skin. Steve and Tony don’t talk about it, and things smooth out between them after a while. Natasha keeps hoping one of them will open their stubborn mouths, but it seemed as though the both of them are content to dance awkwardly around and ignore the glaring signs everyone else on the team can see. She doesn’t want to hurt Steve’s feelings so she hasn’t told him, but there’s a betting pool open among the other team members. Mostly Clint between and Sam. For her part, Natasha’s about desperate enough to try and coordinate a cliched sitcom scenario, if it means the two will finally talk to each other.

She knows Steve cares about Bucky. She knows the two of them were more than friends, back during WWII. But she also knows what she’s seen of the Winter Soldier. She knows what programming can do to a person, knows how it can wipe away everything a person was and replace it with nothing but the mission. She doesn’t have much hope that Bucky will ever be “okay”, even if they do manage to find him, and she can’t stand to watch Steve clinging to the past, to a hope that may not exist. 

About a month goes by before they get their next call about Hydra. Rogue agents have been spotted in Manhattan, so the whole team mobilizes and heads out. It’s as she and Steve are standing back-to-back, fending off a cloud of doberman-sized flying drones with lasers that he decides to have a heart-to-heart. 

“Hey Nat!” he shouts, not using the comms. 

“What?” she asks, spinning and kicking a drone out of the air.

“I think I should tell Tony about - you know -” Steve cuts off to throw his shield, hitting three drones before it ricochets back to him. "Uh, about how I feel," he finishes. Nat takes a breath and promises herself she can poison him for being a stubborn bastard later.

“About fucking time!” she yells, ducking two more drones that end up smashing against the shield. Steve reaches a hand down and hauls her behind the shield as a large explosion rocks the street. “I was going to kill you myself if you didn’t,” she says as heat swirls around them. Steve grins sheepishly, and a moment later they pull apart again to keep fighting. They’re too busy to talk for the rest of the fight, but as they’re heading back to the tower, Nat gives Steve a small, knowing smile. They’ve just made it up the elevator to the penthouse when they hear Tony land on the roof outside.

“Good luck,” she says, quirking a smile at Steve. “If I don’t see you at dinner I’ll know who to blame,” she adds with a smirk. Steve turns a hilarious shade of red and she laughs, waving over Steve’s shoulder at Tony as he steps into the living room, wearing nothing but the armor’s undersuit. “Good job out there flyboy!”

“You too red,” Tony says with a quick smile. She looks at Steve once more, winks, and sashays to the elevator.


	4. PLANS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter probably could've been part of the prior chapter but whatever.

Steve is still slightly red in the face as Nat leaves, and turning to see Tony walk past in the skin-tight undersuit doesn’t help matters. Steve is so distracted he almost doesn’t realise Tony is also headed for the elevator. He reaches out quickly and grabs Tony’s arm.

“Hey wait, Tony…” Tony stops immediately and looks back at him, and Steve can feel the tension in the other man’s body. Tony looks the same way he always looks after a battle: high strung and tight. It bothers Steve, but maybe that’s a problem they can work on… together? 

“Tony, I - think we need to talk.” Steve says haltingly. He loosens his grip a little on Tony’s arm and Tony doesn’t run away, so Steve takes that as a good sign. Steve licks his lips, and tries to roll his way through what he needs to say. “I know things have been kind of tense between us these past couple of weeks, since I called you out, but I need you to know why I did it.” Tony’s face is an unreadable mask; Steve can’t tell what he’s thinking and that’s not helping at all. He keeps going. “I care about you Tony, a lot, and I was thinking--”

“Stop,” Tony says, and Steve does stop, but only because that single word is full of so much pain and Tony is shaking. Tony pulls his arm away and takes a step back. “You can’t do this, don’t you dare,” he says, his jaw is clenched, his hands in fists. Steve is completely bewildered.

“You didn’t even let me finish,” Steve protests, but Tony cuts him off with a raised hand.

“I know what you’re gonna say,” he says tightly, “and it’s just gonna make things worse!”

“Caring about you!?” Steve asks incredulously. “How can saying I love--”

“Don’t DO this to me Rogers!” Tony shouts, his face full of pain, his body wracked with emotion. Steve balks and takes a step backwards. “It’s not FAIR - you can’t do this to me!” Tony adds in a choked voice as he backs away from Steve, who’s face has broken into a shattered expression of confusion and hurt. 

“What are you talking about!?” Steve asks desperately, but Tony keeps backing up, and then turns away and runs into the elevator. “Tony!” Steve calls after him, but the doors close too quickly. “JARVIS!”

“I’m sorry sir,” JARVIS says, and if an AI could express his regret, his voice would be full of it. “He has locked out controls to the elevators.” Steve races towards the stairs, only to find those doors are locked too. 

“Did he lock down the whole building!?”

“No sir, just the penthouse.”

“Just me,” Steve says, his voice tight. JARVIS doesn’t reply audibly, but Steve senses the agreement. “You have to let me out of here.”

“I’m so sorry sir; he has explicitly forbidden me to do so until he returns.”

“God damnit Tony!” Steve shouts as he bangs on the door to the stairwell, but only JARVIS can hear him. Steve presses his head against the door for a moment, and then pulls out his cellphone, dialing Nat’s number. She picks up instantly, concern in her voice.

“I take it things didn’t go well,” she says. “I just saw Tony heading to the basement. What happened?”

“I don’t know,” Steve says honestly. “But he’s locked me up here in the penthouse. I need you to come hack the lock to the stairs or reprogram the elevators or something.” Nat curses on the other end of the phone. “He’s going back to the docks, I know he is,” Steve adds softly.

“Right,” she says, and he can hear her breathing hard. “Running up the stairs right now. You know - I’m gonna kill him - why’s this tower so damn tall anyway?” she pants. Steve almost chuckles.

“You can’t kill him if I get to him first, Steve replies, and Nat laughs breathlessly.

“Be there in a few,” she says, and hangs up to focus on running up the stairs. A few minutes later and Steve can hear her breathing heavily through the door as she reaches the penthouse floor.

“Don’t pass out on me,” he says, and he hears her make a pained noise.

“Gonna kill you too,” she says, starting to catch her breath. Steve hears her pull the cover of the control panel off the wall to access the computer. “Alright… this is gonna take a few minutes. I’m good but Tony is better. Don’t know how long it’s going to take to fight through his firewalls.”

“I shall endeavor to help,” JARVIS suddenly pipes up. “Though it is mostly limited to making sure the security systems do not attack you during the attempt to hack the lock.”

“Thanks,” Natasha says brightly. “This’ll be way less fun without the threat of death.”

“Just do what you can,” Steve says. “I don’t think Tony keeps parachutes up here…”

“Don’t you dare,” is all she says before falling quiet to work.


	5. BUCKY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony runs back to the shipyard as Steve fights to get out of the penthouse.

Tony bursts out of the elevator in the basement and throws himself towards his motorcycle angrily. 

“Sir,” JARVIS says with concern, “It is thirty-four degrees Fahrenheit outside. Please wear a coat.” Tony looks around the basement for his coat and finds it, but just holds it in his hands.

“Did you lock down the stairwell?”

“Yes sir,” JARVIS says helplessly. Tony nods, and pulls the coat on.

“Good.” Then Tony starts up the bike and tears out of the garage, weaving through traffic to get to the dock. His phone rings as he drives, but it’s from Steve so Tony just ignores the call. Then he calls ahead to the shipyard, knowing he’ll be expected. When he gets to the docks he parks his bike and doesn’t bother locking it up; he’s not planning to stay tonight. He heads into the shipyard, shivering in the cold.

“We need to talk!” Tony calls into the darkness. It’s not how the usually do things, they don’t talk about themselves beforehand, they just get to business. Steve always gets brought up after, but Tony can’t - he can’t keep doing this. He waits in the darkness for some sign, hoping he hasn’t scared him away by calling out. Finally, a dark figure looms into the darkness, one silver arm glinting in the moonlight.

“What’s going on?” Bucky says, stepping up to Tony. “I saw the drones, is Steve alright?”

“He’s fine,” Tony interjects quickly. “But he needs to know about you,” Tony says. Bucky’s face darkens with anger, and he takes a threatening step towards Tony, grabbing the front of his coat. “You’ve got to tell him!” Tony says desperately. Bucky rears back and swings, punching Tony on the side of his face, sending him sprawling into a pile of crates.

“Don’t say that!” Bucky splutters, stepping away as if shocked by his own anger. “I can’t - I can’t! Not yet! I can’t remember everything yet!” He steps farther away, grabbing his head.

“He doesn’t care,” Tony insists, picking himself up off the splintering wood. “I swear he doesn’t, he just wants you back.” Bucky shakes his head in frustration, then he reels on Tony again.

“You’re just trying to back out of this, you don’t want to do this anymore!” he says, lunging at Tony and shoving him against a shipping container.

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Tony says, wincing as his back hits steel. “I just can’t. I’m not helping you, I’m not helping him!”

“This isn’t just about you!” Bucky yells. “What about me? I can’t see him yet… I just need to know he’s alright -- I need more time. I need you to do this for me!” Bucky hangs his head, pressing it down against Tony’s shoulder, breathing heavily, his hands knotted in Tony’s jacket. Tony breaks slightly; Bucky looks so sad, so despondent at the thought that Tony might abandon him.

“Alright. Hey, it’s alright… I won’t leave,” Tony says softly. He reaches up, wrapping his arms around Bucky. He’ll do this for Bucky. For himself. Neither of them can have Steve, so all they’ve got is each other. That’s how it has to be. He sighs as Bucky moves against him, as fingers undo buttons, pull down zippers and slip into trousers. He closes his eyes, blocking out the moonlight.

\---

Back at the tower, Steve has slipped down to the floor waiting for Natasha to get the door unlocked. He’d tried calling Tony, but of course Tony had hung up without answering. Stubborn idiot…

He hears a click suddenly, and is on his feet in a moment.

“Was that it?” he asks, pushing on the door.

“Yep,” says Natasha as the door swings open. Steve immediately starts running down the stairs. “Go get him!” Natasha yells after him, and she sees him wave a hand before disappearing down two flights at once by leaping over the railing. 

Steve races to the basement and jumps in his car, with only thought on his mind: getting to Tony as fast as possible, before he gets hurt again.

\---

“Is Steve really alright?” Bucky asks a long time later, pushing himself up into a sitting position on the ground. Tony crawls backwards out of his lap, nodding. The heat between them dissipates and Tony crosses his arms around him, shivering slightly. 

“Yeah, he is. But I think you should find a new place to stay. Steve’s getting suspicious.” Bucky stands up and grunts, zipping up his pants. “We need to be more careful,” Tony warns, standing up too and fixing his buttons. 

“Next time you call I’ll give you the new place,” Bucky says simply. Tony nods, and then decides to try one more time to convince Bucky to go to Steve. “You’re running out of time,” he says softly, looking for his coat. “Steve is going to move on if you don’t.” 

Bucky doesn’t reply, so Tony looks over at him. Bucky is standing stiffly, looking off into the distance and for a moment Tony doesn’t know why. Then he hears it. Steve, calling his name.

“Tony!?” Steve’s voice is distant, but clearly headed their way. Tony blanches.

“But how- how’d he find me-” Tony mutters. Bucky snarls and disappears into the darkness. Tony waits and watches. He can hear Steve approaching before he can see him. When Steve calls out again, Tony answers.

“Tony! I know you’re out here!”

“Right here,” Tony says as a form dissolves out of the darkness. “How the hell did you find this place?”

“I tracked you here a month ago,” Steve replies, stepping up to Tony. “I saw… I saw what you do here,” he says, his voice rough with anger. “You’re letting someone hurt you!” 

Tony lets out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding and hangs his head in relief; Steve doesn’t know everything, not yet.

“It’s not what you think,” Tony says, and that’s the honest truth. Steve shakes his head in disbelief. 

“I know exactly what happens here,” Steve says. “I came the day we fought. I saw everything.” Tony shakes his head again, because Steve might’ve seen the aftermath, but he clearly doesn’t understand the full picture. “I’m worried about you. Tony, don’t run away this time,” he says, reaching out and grabbing Tony’s shoulder. “Listen to me -- I love you!” 

“No -- no you don’t!” Tony says, pulling his shoulder out of Steve’s hand. “You love Bucky, he’s the one you’re looking for!” Tony raises his hands to his head, pacing away from Steve.

“Is that why you keep avoiding me?” Steve asks, thinking he might understand finally. “Look, we… we were together, at one time, but it’s been years. I still love him, I’ll never stop loving him but he’s been brainwashed by Hydra for decades. Nat says he might not even really remember who he is. I can’t keep living in the past!”

It’s breaking Tony to hear this; because he knows - he knows! Bucky’s here, he remembers Steve, he remembers so much… And Tony wants Steve with every inch of his soul.

“You’ll regret giving up,” Tony swears from the bottom of his heart. “I can’t let you do that. It’s better for you if we don’t do this, I’m no good for you, trust me! And what if he does come back, and he remembers everything? What am I then, old news? You’re gonna dump me to go back to your old flame?”

“This isn’t all about you!” Steve says forcefully, and it’s like he’s slapped Tony. All the tension drains out of him and he looks at Steve, his eyes shining in the darkness. The same words… God, the two of them were more similar than they knew.

“I’ve tried,” Tony says softly, choking on his words. “I’ve tried so hard…”

“What are you trying to do?” Steve asks, his voice pained, taking a small step towards Tony, trying not to spook him again. “Why do you do this to yourself?” Tony just shakes his head and refuses to answer. 

“Bucky can’t be why you won’t get with me,” Steve says slowly. He gestures around them, to the dirty shipyard and the broken boxes. “This is really why,” Steve says. “Because of this guy. Has he threatened you?”

“Please,” Tony begs. “Don’t.” This has all been completely Tony’s choice, Bucky was blameless.

“Tell me who it is! He needs to meet my fist for what he’s done to you!” But Tony is shaking his head, almost crying, almost laughing hysterically because Steve doesn’t understand, doesn’t even know who he’s threatening.

“No, no you don’t want to know,” Tony says, his voice catching in his throat.

“Tell me!” Steve demands, suddenly lunging forward and grabbing Tony, shaking him. Tony sets his jaw stubbornly.

“No, I can’t,” Tony says, summoning all his strength and looking Steve in the eye. “You’d never forgive me if I told you, just like he’d never forgive me if I got with you. It’s bad enough already, just please let it go.” Steve looks at Tony, and he looks so small, so broken, the side of his face swollen and scratched… 

“Let’s just go home,” Steve says softly. There’s a long pause, and Tony finally nods. Tony gives up and lets himself be guided back to Steve’s car. “We’ll pick up your bike tomorrow,” Steve says as they walk, but Tony doesn’t really respond. Steve doesn’t care; he’s already made the decision that Tony is never coming here alone again; he’s never going to be alone with whoever it is that’s been doing this to him.

After they go, a figure slips out from behind the shipping containers. Bucky stands there in the darkness, his mind boiling over with thoughts. His backpack is slung over his shoulder; he could just leave… Steve was right of course, he can’t keep living in the past, and if he thinks Bucky doesn’t remember anything then it makes sense to pick someone new and move on. Tony had tried to warn him. But then again, they both said it: that Steve still loves him. Steve’s still clinging to what they had. His hand tightens around the strap of his bag, and he makes up his mind. He starts walking.


	6. EGGS & BACON

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Tony head back to the tower and talk things over.

The drive back to the tower is a silent one. Tony doesn’t stop Steve from leading him up to the medical floor and sitting him down in an empty room. There’s someone on staff tonight but Steve shoos them away. 

“Here,” Steve says, hanging Tony a glass of water. He’s willing to bet Tony hasn’t had anything to eat since before the battle, since he literally ran off immediately afterwards. Tony takes the water and takes one sip before setting it down. Steve sighs and just gets to work looking at the bruise slowly growing dark on the side of Tony’s face.

“What happened?” Steve asks, running a probe over Tony’s cheek. A quick scan pops up on the computer screen, and shows that thankfully, no bones have been broken.

“It’s fine,” Tony says flatly, staring at the wall. Steve inhales, counts to ten, and tries again.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?”

“Nowhere that’s your business,” Tony says, glancing at Steve for a moment. Steve counts to ten again. Very slowly. Twice.

“I’m trying to help you,” Steve finally says, managing to keep his voice even and calm. 

“If I was hurt enough to need help, I’d get it myself,” Tony replies, his tone just as measured. 

“Would you really?”

“Yes,” Tony says, and he actually looks back at Steve. “I’m not endangering myself, I promise Steve. Please stop worrying.” He actually sounds sincere, Steve realizes.

“I can’t,” Steve says. “Being an idiot isn’t going to push me away,” he adds, giving Tony half a smile. Apparently it’s the wrong move, because Tony’s face gets tight again and he turns away. “I’m not going to force you to date me,” Steve says, trying to lighten the mood again, because they’d almost connected for a moment there. 

“Thank you,” Tony says. “Can I go now?”

“No,” Steve says with authority. “As your friend, I’m going to take you upstairs, make you eat dinner, and then make sure you actually go to bed.” Tony raises his eyebrows and gives Steve a weird look. 

“Are you my mom now?”

“No, I’m your friend,” Steve repeats. “Now let’s go, stand up,” he says, offering his hand. Hoping… please, he thinks, let me at least help you, Tony…

Tony stares at Steve’s outstretched hand for a long moment, and then reaches up to take it, standing up off the exam bed.

“Alright fine. If it gets you off my case.”

“Thank you,” Steve says, and he doesn’t bother hiding how relieved it makes him feel. Tony rolls his eyes and follows Steve to the elevator.

Up they head to the penthouse, where Steve sits Tony down on the couch and makes enough eggs and bacon for at least five people. His instincts aren’t wrong; Tony eats nearly half of it. When they’ve both had their fill Steve clears his throat. 

“I want to talk about Bucky,” Steve says. Tony tries to escape by standing up and stretching with a very fake yawn.

“I’d love to but I sure am tired. Guess I’ll go to bed now,” he says, but Steve shakes his head and grabs his hand.

“We have to talk about this!”

“Rogers, this has been cute but I’m going now,” Tony says, bristling. It’s not the answer Steve wants, but at least Tony has some of his fight back. Steve lets go of Tony’s hand but doesn’t give up.

“Please Tony. You need to understand,” Steve says. Tony chews his lip for a moment and then sits back down heavily.

“Fine. Five minutes is all you get,” Tony replies. Steve nods, and starts talking.

“Only someone living under a rock wouldn't realize you feel the same way about me as I do about you,” Steve starts. Tony opens his mouth to protest, but Steve stops him. “No - let me finish first. I know you love me, Tony. The fact that you’re trying to protect yourself makes that clear enough. You’re terrified of having your own heart broken and that upsets me, because I’d never do that to you. Look, it’s true. Bucky and I had a long history together, and I’m always going to have a place in my heart for him. I don’t want to discourage you by saying that; I’m trying to show you that I’ve got enough room for you, too. Okay?” Tony stares hard at his hands as Steve talks.

“You’re only saying that because you don’t know for sure how much Bucky remembers,” Tony says. “If you knew for sure… if you knew he remembered everything or almost everything, wouldn’t you prefer him over me? I’m not a consolation prize,” he adds, growing heated. Steve puts his hand on the side of Tony’s face gently, covering the bruise on his cheek.

“Shh, I know. Listen… We just don’t know,” Steve says, and Tony bites his lip hard to stay silent. “Maybe he’ll remember me, maybe not. But even if he does, things are different now. I’m different, he’s different. I was frozen for decades, he was Hydra’s tool. We’ve changed. There’d be no way to just snap our fingers and go back to the way it was. That’s not how it works.”

Tony’s expression is pained, because he doesn’t want to let himself hope, he doesn’t want the pain of rejection he knows will follow. Everything Steve says makes sense but… 

“You’re only saying that because you don’t know. If he remembered, if he was here, you’d sing a different song.”

“Why are you insisting that!?” Steve asks, frustrated. “You don’t trust me?”

“It’s love I don’t trust,” Tony says sadly. “It’s stronger than words and good intentions.” Steve presses his lips together and decides to let it go, for now. They’re clearly not going to reach an agreement about Bucky right now. He’s not finished though.

“We have to talk about this person you’ve been going to,” Steve says. “It’s gotta stop.”

“I can’t,” Tony says truthfully. “I owe him.”

“You don’t owe anyone the right to abuse you!” Steve says, shocked. Tony raises his hands to calm him.

“No, you don’t understand, so this time you listen to me, alright? It’s not abuse. We agreed upon everything. You want me to trust you? I need you to trust me,” Tony says firmly. Steve looks at him warily and it’s clear he doesn’t trust his judgement on this, but point taken. He nods for Tony to continue.

“We’ve got a deal, me and him. Neither of us can have what we want, but we’ve got one another.”

“But… I’m who you want,” Steve says slowly. “You’re with this guy because you think you can’t have me? Tony, that’s easy to fix, I’m right here!” Tony shakes his head.

“It’s more than that. I can’t abandon him. And if I got what I wanted - you - it’d… it’d be the worst thing,” Tony says quietly. Steve narrows his eyes at him for a long moment, and then something clicks. His eyes go wide.

“No, it can’t be,” Steve says, and Tony looks away. “It’s not. Bucky?” Steve says in disbelief. Tony nods his head. Steve almost can’t speak for a moment. “How did you find him!?”

“He found me,” Tony says. “He was looking for you, wanted someone close to you who could keep an eye on you. I do that for him.”

“And what, that’s the deal? You give him information about me? I don’t understand, what do you get out of this!?”

“I can’t have you,” Tony says. “So I let him have me. And he can’t have you, so he takes me instead.”

Steve looks at Tony’s battered face, sees the self-loathing that’s always been there, sees how desperately Tony has tried to be a halfway point between Steve and Bucky while punishing himself for daring to love Steve…

“Tony…” Steve swallows, turning away and giving himself room to think. “I…”

“I’m so sorry,” Tony says. His voice sounds like it’s breaking, and when Steve looks back, there are tears in Tony’s eyes. “You can’t forgive me and I’m so sorry,” he says as if it’s fact. 

“No! I mean - yes - god Tony, I can’t - I can’t be mad at you for this!” Steve runs his fingers through his hair, still stunned. “You found him…”

“He remembers almost everything,” Tony says, the words spilling out now that the dam has been broken. “About you. About his childhood, all of it. Bits and pieces are missing. He doesn’t remember much from when he was first taken, or how he was kidnapped.”

“But why wouldn’t he just reveal himself?”

“Because he can’t remember everything Hydra did to him. Or the last few months of his life with you. He thinks maybe he did something wrong. He’s terrified he volunteered for Hydra or betrayed you or who knows what. He doesn’t believe the memorials, says that’s something you’d do to preserve his memory even if he was a traitor.”

“Oh god,” Steve says. “No - he fell! It was my fault, I couldn’t save him…”

“He’s worried you hate him now,” Tony says softly. “And he can’t remember, so he’s too afraid to show himself.” Steve understands now, all of it. Every twisted piece of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long, I am TERRIBLE with writing the care part of h/c lmao. I do promise there is more porn coming though, there really really is!


	7. COLDFRONT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky shows up at the tower, and the trio can finally talk through their problems

“I need to talk to him,” Steve says after a few minutes. “Does he live there, in the shipyard?” Tony shakes his head.

“He won’t be there anymore, I told him to find a new place because you were catching on.”

“I see,” Steve says.

“He’ll tell me with the new location the next time I call,” Tony offers, because that’s all he can do. Steve nods. 

“Please let me know,” he says, and Tony can’t see any reason to say no at this point. “I need him to know that --” 

“Sir,” JARVIS says suddenly, “I apologize for the interruption, but the temperature has dropped inside Stark Tower.” Steve looks up at the ceiling in confusion, but Tony goes still.

“You mean it?” Tony says faintly.

“Yes sir - you demanded I allow access,” JARVIS says, sounding frustrated and concerned. “You will remember I protested--”

“Where?” Tony asks quickly.

“At the moment, the elevator,” JARVIS replies. “I can shut them down if you like--”

“No!” Tony says.

“What’s going on?” Steve interjects, grabbing Tony’s shoulder. “What is he talking about?”

“Bucky’s here,” Tony says quietly. “I ordered JARVIS to allow him entry if he ever decided to stop by, I didn’t want there to be any restrictions. I told him he could show up whenever… never expect him to do it though. He said he never would.” 

Steve’s eyes go wide for a moment, and then hope breaks over his face.

“He’s here? Oh thank god…”

Tony thinks it might not be such a good thing, but he doesn’t say anything. The icons above the elevator doors illuminate as the elevator makes its way upwards. Finally it reaches the penthouse floor, and both Tony and Steve are on their feet as the doors swish open to reveal Bucky standing there, his backpack slung over one shoulder.

“Bucky,” Steve says breathlessly.

“Hey,” Tony says, taking an unconscious step away from Steve. Bucky doesn’t say anything right away, but he does step out of the elevator. He sets his backpack down, and looks up at Steve with hooded eyes, his long brown hair covering his face much like his mask used to do. Steve swallows and takes a step towards him, but Bucky takes a step backwards.

“Stop,” Bucky says roughly. “Just here to say goodbye.”

“No,” Steve says pained. “You can’t leave. You have to stay! Tony told me everything --”

Bucky’s gaze snaps to Tony and Tony flinches slightly, but Steve reaches his hand out between the two of them. 

“I made him tell me,” Steve says calmly. Bucky silently considers this, so Steve keeps talking. “I can explain what happened to you,” he offers, and Bucky looks back to Steve. “We were on a train, going after Doctor Zola. You and I were in a train car together, fighting off some Hydra agents. The side of the train got blown open, and you… you fell,” Steve says tightly. “You grabbed a railing and I tried to get to you but I couldn’t. We were on the side of a mountain, we thought you died… we had no idea they’d already started experimenting on you months before then. There was no way to go back for you.” Steve looks away, the memory still painful after all this time.

Tony listens; it’s the same story told in the museums but maybe coming from Steve’s mouth will allow Bucky to believe it. And Bucky does seem to be listening too.

“That’s… really what happened,” Bucky says, half as a question, half as a statement. Steve nods.

“It is. Hydra knew where you fell and picked you up, took control and brainwashed you.”

“I remember that much,” Bucky says tightly.

“But you remember me too,” Steve says gently. “You remember a lot, from what Tony’s told me.” Bucky shrugs, and then shakes his head, his face going dark. 

“Doesn’t matter - Just came here to tell you to move on,” Bucky says, trying to get back to his main purpose, to finish the mission he’d set himself on tonight. Steve won’t let that happen though; he takes another step towards Bucky, and puts his hand out.

“You don’t have to leave,” Steve says calmly. “I know… there’s a lot to talk about. But you remember me. You remember I love you, and from what I can tell, you still love me too. You’re trying to protect me, aren’t you?”

“I’m - you should just move on,” Bucky says haltingly, and Steve resists the urge to laugh.

“Both of you, God you’re such idiots. One of you swears I need to move on, the other is begging me to keep my hopes up. Have neither of you realised I can love more than one person at a time?” Both Bucky and Tony look at Steve now, and he sighs at both of them. 

“I love both of you. Bucky, I never stopped loving you, not for a minute. And Tony… I’ve already told you how I feel. And I can’t believe neither of you two has realised that you love each other, too?” Now Bucky and Tony are looking at each other like they’ve both grown extra limbs, and Steve laughs. 

“After all you’ve done for each other? How could you not see it?” Steve asks. There’s a long, tense silence. Tony’s the first to nod, and Bucky just shrugs. They’re both awkwardly looking at the floor. Steve rolls his eyes. “And you both love me, so what’s the problem here?”

Bucky looks up at Steve like he’s gone half-crazy. Tony glances around the room surreptitiously, as if looking for hidden joke cameras before opening his mouth.

“Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?” Tony asks, and Steve nods lightly. 

“Yeah, I am. You, me and Bucky. All of us,” Steve says, gesturing between the three of them. Both Bucky and Tony still don’t look very sure of all this, so Steve takes the lead. He puts his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. 

“Both of you are ahead of me on kisses,” he says matter-of-factly, “so I’m gonna kiss you.” Then he does so, leaning forward and pressing his lips against Bucky’s. Bucky stiffens in surprise, but a moment later all he can smell is Steve, and his lips are the same as his memories. He closes his eyes and kisses back, reaching up and touching the side of Steve’s face.

Steve pulls away far too soon for Bucky’s liking, but it’s only so he can grab Tony and drag him over and kiss him, too. Tony reaches out but instead of touching Steve he grabs onto Bucky’s coat. His other arm wraps around Steve’s back, and when Steve pulls away he’s grinning.

“That’s a good start…” he says, pulling them both in two backwards a bit, aiming for the hallways and Tony’s bedroom. “I think we should continue elsewhere though.” 

Tony can’t believe Steve has such a mischievous side. Bucky can’t believe Steve hasn’t changed a bit in 50 years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I PROMISE PORN IS COMING. I could've put it in this chapter, but I wanted to get something up so you guys know I'm still alive and still writing this!


	8. SYNERGY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio finally gets down to doin' the dirty!

Steve leads both Tony and Bucky into the bedroom and pulls off his shirt, letting it drop casually onto the floor. He glances behind, and finds both other men staring at him. He grins.

“This’ll work better if you’re both naked too,” he says, gesturing to them. Tony and Bucky glance at one another, and then Tony sits on the edge of the bed, taking off his shoes as a less revealing first step. Bucky follows suit, relieved to be given an option other than immediately getting naked. He bends down and undoes his shoes as well, kicking them near the foot of the bed. Steve walks up beside Bucky and carefully runs his fingers up through Bucky’s long, thick hair. Steve sadly notes it’s dirty, and he wonders when Bucky last had a shower.

“Tony ran off right after the battle this afternoon to go find you,” Steve says casually. “And from what I can tell, he spent that hour rolling around in the dirt. Hate to tell you Tony, but we’re not doing anything until you get a shower.”

Tony’s pulling his undershirt off as Steve speaks, and he seems to catch on immediately. Besides, he really did need a shower himself. 

“My shower is big enough for all three of us,” Tony says with a grin. He opens the door to the bathroom, stripped down to his jeans, and shows the other two that the shower is indeed large enough for three people, possibly four. So is the bathtub, but Steve just has a shower in mind tonight. 

“Why am I not surprised?” Steve says, laughing. Bucky quirks an eyebrow and says nothing. Bucky peels off his numerous layers: leather coat, jean jacket, zippered hoodie and t-shirt. He pauses at the t-shirt, a bit hesitant to completely reveal himself. Steve wraps warm hands around Bucky’s shoulders. “It’s alright,” Steve says softly. “Look at Tony’s chest.”

Bucky looks over, and sees the massive scar in the middle of Tony’s chest from where the arc reactor used to sit. Tony gives Bucky half a smile. They’d never undressed around one another before.

“We can’t all be as perfect as Captain America,” Tony says softly, but he’s still smiling. Steve chuckles, and helps Bucky lift the t-shirt up over his head. The scarring around Bucky’s metal arm is extensive, but in Steve’s mind it was no worse than Tony’s chest. It told a story - in both cases, stories filled with pain. Steve runs his hand over Bucky’s back gently, touching unblemished skin and scars with equal tenderness. 

“It’s alright,” Steve says gently, and Bucky sighs deeply, relaxing. Tony’s made himself busy turning on the water, and the bathroom is quickly steaming up. Tony’s pants are in a pile by the toilet, and Steve’s quickly join the pile. Tony raises his eyebrows as he gets a look at Steve’s length.

“Nice,” Tony says, and Steve steps over with a laugh and kisses Tony again while Bucky finishes undressing. Bucky’s warm hand on Steve’s back makes him turn and pull away from Tony with a grin. “Let’s get cleaned up,” Steve says. He steps into the shower and under the water spraying from two directions, leaving plenty of room for Tony and Bucky to follow, which they do. 

As if by some unspoken agreement, both Steve and Tony start with Bucky first, passing the soap back and forth, Steve at Bucky’s back, Tony on his front. Amidst all the suds Bucky and Tony find themselves kissing for the first time, pressing their bodies together from head to toe as Steve rubs shampoo into Bucky’s hair. It’s so different from their usual shipyard rendezvous; everything is warm and soft, the normal edge of desperation completely absent from their actions. 

“Tip your head back,” Steve says, gently pulling Bucky’s head back so the water can rinse away the shampoo. Tony takes the opportunity to suck the water from Bucky’s neck, and Bucky shudders, leaning back against Steve with a quiet moan. Steve nuzzles against Bucky’s shoulder and wraps his arms around his waist, and this close Bucky can feel Steve’s cock growing hard, pressing up between his thighs. Steve lets Tony rub against Bucky’s front and suck dark marks into his neck for a few more moments, but then gently locks his fingers in Tony’s hair and pulls his head away. 

“Your turn,” Steve says to Tony, and reluctantly Bucky switches places, sandwiching Tony in between them. Bucky quickly finds this position to be advantageous though, stealing kisses from Steve over Tony’s shoulders as they work the soap all over Tony’s body. Bucky makes sure to be extra thorough, and slips his fingers between the cleft of Tony’s ass, causing the man to suck in a sharp breath and push back against him. Bucky swirls his soap-slick fingers against Tony’s entrance and Tony writhes between them. Steve works some shampoo into his own hair with one hand, holding Tony up with the other as Bucky teases him.

“Fuck,” Tony pants, and Steve laughs, rinsing off the soap. 

“Real soon, I promise,” Steve says darkly, before pulling away from Tony and Bucky. “I think we’re as clean as we’re going to get. No sense going crazy, since we’re just going to get all dirty again,” he says with a grin. Bucky grins and runs his hand up Tony’s back, leaving Tony to whine at the loss of sensation.

Tony’s as hard as Bucky and Steve now, and toweling off is frustrating, since the two of them seem to have far more patience than he does. Steve and Bucky both enjoy drying Tony off as thoroughly as they can. Finally the three of them make it to the bed, and Tony crawls around on it, dragging the other two down onto the sheets to cover them with kisses. 

“He likes it when you hold his arms behind his back,” Bucky says, extracting himself from Tony’s mouth and looking over at Steve wickedly. “If you fuck him into the mattress he’ll love it.” Tony looks between the two of them and swallows a moan. Bodies shift, and suddenly Tony is facedown on the bed, the pillows propped under his waist. Steve is behind him, and he gently takes Tony’s hands, guiding them behind his back. Tony certainly can’t hide his enthusiasm, his face flushed and cock pressing hard into the pillows. 

“We do need to establish one rule,” Steve says with a smirk. “Remind me how many times can you come in a short period of time?” he asks Bucky.

“Twice,” Bucky says with a knowing grin.

“Right. Same for me,” Steve replies. Then he looks down at Tony, who’s biting his lip and laughing a bit helplessly.

“You know I can’t,” Tony says. “I’m not a superhuman.”

“Exactly,” Steve says brightly. “Which is why you’ll just have to come last.” Tony immediately closes his eyes and groans, rocking his hips down against the pillows.

“Oh no,” Tony moans, but it’s clear from the look on his face he loves the idea. “Oh god I’m going to die…”

“I assume this isn’t lotion,” Steve says wryly, ignoring Tony’s protest, knowing it was just for show. He uses his free hand to get a dollop from the pump-style bottle on Tony’s nightstand.

“This is unfair,” Tony says, panting. “You’re going to kill me.” Steve laughs as he rubs his fingers against Tony’s ass. Tony relents and closes his eyes blissfully as Steve works him open, his lips parting with quiet moans as Steve pushes in with two, then three fingers. “Oh yes,” Tony groans deeply, feeling loose and ready. Bucky watches hungrily as Tony’s hips rock in small circles, rubbing his cock against the pillows. “Fuck Steve…”

Steve grabs another handful of lube and covers his length with it, stroking himself indulgently for a few moments, grinning at Bucky. Steve puts his fingers back inside Tony but just idly strokes him as Bucky leans over for a kiss. They stay like that, kissing for a long moment until Tony whines, trying to rock his hips to stimulate himself on Steve’s fingers.

“Go on, fuck him,” Bucky says as he pulls away, his voice husky. “I want to watch.” Steve licks Bucky’s lips one last time, and then turns back to Tony. He pulls out his fingers, and pushes in slowly with his length, filling Tony inch by inch, watching his face break open with relief and pleasure. 

“Oh god yes,” Tony pants. “Oooh baby yes…” Tony holds still until Steve is buried deep inside him, then he starts rocking his hips, fucking himself on Steve’s cock. Steve groans and leans forward, draping himself over Tony’s back and thrusting down as Tony’s hips rise, forcing a loud cry of pleasure out of Tony, who immediately tries to speed up the pace. Steve reaches down with the hand not holding Tony’s wrists behind his back, and stills his hips to fuck him at his own pace. Tony whimpers and pants, denied stimulation. 

Bucky watches Steve fucking Tony so nicely and slowly for a few minutes, stroking his own length at the same pace. Eventually though, he reaches over for the pump of lube, and maneuvers himself directly behind Steve. Steve is vaguely aware Bucky’s there, so when Bucky’s warm fingers suddenly circle his entrance, wet with lube, he moans welcomingly.

“Buck- yes, fuck yes…” Steve moans, his hips stuttering inside of Tony unhelpfully as Bucky stretches him open. When Bucky presses inside him with his cock, Steve gasps and pulls completely out of Tony, thrusting his hips back against Bucky. 

“Nnn Steve-” Tony groans, completely without stimulation and achingly hard. He can feel the warm pool of precum on the pillows, but Steve’s still holding his hips immobile. A moment later, Bucky guides Steve’s hips back down against Tony’s, and Steve’s length slides easily back inside. Steve is breathless between them, trying to hold still for a moment as pleasure rushes through him from both sides.

“God,” Steve says brokenly, and then he cries out as Bucky pulls out and thrusts into him, making his hips snap against Tony’s. Bucky starts fucking Steve relentlessly, his pace far faster than Steve’s had been and christ, he still knew exactly where to angle his cock to make Steve’s voice catch in his throat. 

“Bucky!” Steve whimpers, his thighs shaking. It’s only the force of Bucky’s hips forcing him forward that’s keeping him inside Tony; and for Tony, the shallow, fast pace was doing nothing but making him more and more desperate, Steve’s moans driving straight down to his stomach. 

“Bucky - Bucky -” Steve pants, unable to say anything else until he’s right on the edge. “Ah! Tony - I - God!” Steve comes hard, his cock barely inside of Tony, cum filling him but leaking out all over his thighs as Steve shudders back against Bucky. He pants, and Bucky slowly pulls out. Steve rolls to the side, trying to catch his breath. “God you’re both so good,” Steve says breathlessly. “Fuck…”

Tony pulls himself up off the pillows, his arms now free but still desperate to come. Bucky moves around behind Tony, and then pulls Tony into his lap so they’re face to face. Steve has an excellent view as Bucky guides his cock into Tony’s leaking entrance. Tony moans and throws his head back as he sinks down onto Bucky, shivering as he’s filled properly again. Bucky lifts Tony’s hips slightly, and then starts thrusting up into him. 

Tony hovers above him, eagerly trying to angle his hips just right, but Bucky is having none of that. He fucks Tony at his preferred speed, not letting Tony set the pace. Bucky only needs shallow, fast thrusts to come, and his fingers dig into Tony’s hips, holding him in the proper position. Tony whimpers and writhes, pressing his head down against Bucky’s chest helplessly as he’s fucked.

“Bucky - oh god please come, god I need - I need to come!” Tony begs. Bucky’s nearly done from being inside Steve, so it’s not long until he comes too with a low moan, filling Tony with even more cum. Bucky lifts Tony off his length as he pants with relief. Tony whines and reaches for his own cock, but suddenly Steve is behind him again, pulling his hands behind his back once more, and lifting him off Bucky’s lap. 

“Oh please,” Tony begs, pressing back against Steve, feeling Steve’s renewed vigor pressing up between his legs. “Please Steve, I need it, god please…”

“Now now, we said we could come twice,” Steve says sweetly, “And I’m ready for another go. Of course, it’s going to take a bit longer the second time, so you’ll just have to be patient. Can you do that?”

Tony shudders, his cock hanging heavy and leaking between his legs. He pants for a few moments, and then nods with a curse. 

“Fuck. Yeah, yeah I’m good. Give it to me Steve, c’mon, fill me up,” he says with a filthy grin, and Steve lets out a hot breath against Tony’s neck. 

“Next time we’ll fill that dirty mouth of yours,” Steve says, and the laugh Tony gives turns into a shout of pleasure as Steve slides into him in one swift, deep motion. 

“Oh baby yes,” Tony moans, his head thrown back against Steve’s shoulder. “Oh god fuck me…” Steve does, but again it’s at a terribly gentle and indulgent pace, so different from Bucky and yet still completely useless for getting Tony off properly. It’s slow and deep and and calms Tony slightly, allowing him to reel himself in slightly from the edge of desperation. 

But the pace isn’t fast enough for Steve to come either, and Tony wonders about that until he opens his eyes and looks down at Bucky a few minutes later. He’s clearly ready to go again too. Steve’s voice is suddenly back in Tony’s ear.

“You think you can fit us both?” Steve asks huskily. “You’re so loose and wet…” As if to prove his point, Steve reaches down and pushes his fingers into Tony beside his own length, spreading them open wide. The stretch is tight but so good, and Tony bucks in Steve’s lap.

“F-feels good,” Tony pants. “Jesus, yeah - fill me, both of you, want you both inside me, god yes- mmn-” Steve silences Tony’s filthy babbling by sticking his fingers in his mouth. Tony sucks on his fingers eagerly as Steve shifts him back into Bucky’s lap, and into a better position for Bucky’s length to press against his entrance alongside Steve’s. 

They go slow; Steve puts his fingers back inside Tony and uses them to open him up just wide enough for the tip of Bucky’s length to slip in alongside Steve’s. Tony relaxes as much as he can as sweat trickles down his back. Inch by inch Bucky slips into him, and by the time Tony settles in Bucky’s lap, he’s panting and breathless again. 

“You alright?” Steve asks, rubbing Tony’s lower back. Bucky provides support by holding him up from the front, and after a moment Tony nods.

“Yeah, I’m good - feels good, doesn’t hurt,” he says breathlessly. “Niiiice and loose,” he drawls as it turns into a moan. Bucky is the first to move, his cock shaking slightly as he laughs at Tony’s open, wanton expression. It’s amazing to look at Tony, shining with sweat, his face almost frozen with ecstasy with both of them inside him.

Steve moves next, his withdraw and thrust a bit more purposeful. Everything is so tight and hot, yet incredibly slick from all the come already inside Tony’s body. Bucky groans as Steve moves, and thrusts up as Steve’s pulling back out.

“Ah-” Tony’s almost silent from the sensation, his voice nearly as whisper as he says “fuck, just like that, don’t stop…”

They work together, one pulling out as the other thrusts, and Tony can’t utter another word, his throat nearly closed as he shakes. Then, finally his body can’t take any more.

“Please, please, please,” he pants, his breathing coming back as pleasure reaches a height in him, almost painful in its intensity. Neither Bucky nor Steve stops, both too enthralled by Tony’s taut body to even consider it. Bucky reaches up to give Tony the last bit of stimulation he needs: he wraps his metal hand around Tony’s cock and watches as Tony jerks as if hit by lightning. Tony clenches around them tightly with a choking cry, and suddenly he’s coming, jerking into Bucky’s hand as words return.

“Fuck! M’godohjesus -”

He’s clenched so tightly around them for a moment that neither of them can move, but then again neither of them want to; he’s such a pretty sight. His body unclenches and he slips off of them in a heap on Bucky’s chest, laying in a pool of his own come, completely oblivious. 

The three pant together for a few moments, Steve and Bucky soaking in the intensity of Tony’s orgasm. Then, without speaking, Steve presses his slick cock into Bucky, with Tony still laying between them. Bucky moans softly and lays his head back, wrapping his hand around Steve’s arm. They rock together, both so close that it doesn’t take long for Bucky, with his cock pressed up against Tony’s stomach, to come, and then Steve follows almost immediately. Steve finally rolls off of Tony, pulling him off Bucky, and the three curl together on the bed, filthy and spent. 

The three all fall asleep; Steve wakes up at one point to find one of Tony’s robots quietly laying a blanket over top of them. He smiles, and closes his eyes again until morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone for reading and for your suggestions throughout! As far as my vision went, this fic is over; they obviously live happily ever after as a lovely polyamorous couple that has plenty of kinky sex.


End file.
